Selective Breeding
by AnimeSiren
Summary: Drabbles of every genre, pairing, tone, theme, and any other literary device you could imagine! There's something for everyone's taste. Chapter 23: Shikamaru and Neji, they said they were going to train.
1. Chapter 1

_**Introducing my Naruto Drabble Serious. An author can never have too many drabbles, ne? Like I said in the summary there is every pairing and genre imaginable, and I hope you enjoy!**_

**X-_X-_X**

"Kakashi!"

"Iruka!"

"_Kakashi_!"

"_Iruka_!"

"_**Hatake**_!"

"_**Umino**_!"

"Damnit Kakashi where are my hair ties!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"_Kakashi_!"

"_Iruka_."

**X-_X-_X**

_**This is the tiny drabble that prompted the serious, imagine what can be born when you are bored one day? Probably the smallest of the drabbles. Thanks for reading!**_


	2. Chapter 2

Most people would assume that Sasuke would take a walk in the nighttime to relax.

And they would continue to assume that his relaxation would occur on a cloudy night (Indeed the Sasuke-kun fan club boys and girls had a whole manuscript dedicated to the subject, complete with a full description on how the slight wind would just tussle his locks.)

However they would be devastated to learn that it is just the opposite of their angsty hero weather that he prefers

For Uchiha Sasuke enjoys nothing more than a midday stroll beneath a cloudless sun filled sky.

And the Sasuke-kun fan girls and boys would be further devastated to learn that he enjoys the bright sun of midday due to the fact that he can compare every bit of that sun filled day to the one he loves.

He can compare the bright rays of the sun to unruly locks.

He can compare the cloudless cerulean skied to joyous orbs.

Indeed he did enjoy the warm sunny days instead of the lonely cloudy nights.

**X-_X-_X**

_**Short, not serious toned, and hopefully enjoyable. Thanks for reading.**_


	3. Chapter 3

ANBU was a sacred organization, an association of allusive assassins who reported to only two of the highest ranked ninja in the village: The ANBU director, and the Hokage.

When ANBU wanted a new member they snatched you up before you got too famous, adding your prime to their ranks they took your identity, and left behind a few inches of inked skin.

You became known only by a mask that your victim saw before you killed them, destroyed them, all for the sake of your village. When you resurfaced ten years later it was always with different circumstances.

The most popular mode of life after ANBU was your name emblazoned on the tribute stone, not especially appealing, however it was the most common end result. It was one of the only results that freed you from the grip of ANBU.

The other choice was your sudden appearance in a long term Konoha hospital ward or a prison sentence. And out of the nin that experienced this result there were the few who forgot who they were and their pride of Konohagakure.

They became missing nin.

Then there was the much mo that preferable option of simple re-admittance to the Konoha duty roster, sudden appearance in the mission's room to pick up your next mission assignment. These were the ex-ANBU whom actually got to see a mission that wasn't S-ranked, like all ANBU received.

Some ANBU had problems readjusting to society once more. They experienced depression, dementia, and suicidal tendencies. Some just became bothered, they had demons they were able to keep hidden. Effected but not letting anyone see how much.

ANBU was a prestigious group, the greatest of Konohagakure. They were the ones that sacrificed their minds and souls and donned a mask. And they were the ones who gasped fresh air when they took that mask off, one way or another.

**X-_X-_X**

_**Thanks to all that read!**_


	4. Chapter 4

**X-_X-_X**

Everyone will remember this as the day of surprises, the day of a certain surprise, a surprising surprise.

We start out with the beginning of the Saturday morning Mission Room shift…

"So Kuranai still won't go out with you?" Genma asked Asuma as they waited in line at the mission's room desk.

"No, not that it's any of your business. Where's Iruka-sensei anyway?" Asuma said making an irritated noise; he hated being stuck in line on a Saturday morning with Genma of all people. He inhaled his cigarette anxiously.

"I'm sure he'll be coming soon," said Genma lackadaisically, and as if pulled by Psychic bonds the door to the Mission's Room opened.

Everyone's eyes immediately diverted to the door in the hopes of seeing the usual image of Iruka-sensei hurrying through the door, a kind smile on his face, offering apologies for being late and carrying an armful of books.

What they got was far, far, but close to it.

The Iruka-sensei that walked through the door, sliding it cockily closed behind him, was definitely not the image of the scroll carrying, hurrying academy teacher.

Today's Iruka-sensei was dressed in just the under mesh shirt of the usual ninja outfit along with uniformed pants, a tad bit too tight, and black sandals instead of the blue.

He was also swaggering a bit, swaying those so delectable hips in a very teasing way. His look was only accented more by his loose hair that hanged teasingly next to an appealingly tan neck. No one had seen so much of the teacher's skin.

He made it across the room and sat calmly down at the mission's desk, smiling at the person who was standing first in line. His smile replaced the mask of indifference that had previously occupied his face.

The man in question was a low level chuunin, who wasn't well known, nor is he very important.

However he did a good job of keeping face and managed to hand everything in okay, he even crossed the room without trembling.

Although no one saw what happened when he got out in the hall, no one saw him have a nosebleed so bad that he struggled until such time as he passed out upon the hallway floor.

Everyone managed through line okay, and everything went relatively well until when Genma was about to hand his in the shoji door burst open banging off the wall and recessing a few inches.

There stood a clearly disheveled Iruka-sensei, now to say everyone was surprised and confused would be an understatement, because not only was this a second Iruka-sensei this one was lacking patches of clothing and had decidedly dog claw marks on his clothes and skin.

He looked at the occupants of the room only momentarily before ranging in on the other Iruka-sensei who was still sitting at the desk, now however he had a rather maniacal grin on his face.

This was about the time both Genma and Asuma were beginning to think something was seriously wrong; they had just made up their minds to go on the defensive when the Iruka-sensei at the door opened his mouth and bellowed:

"KAKASHI!"

Immediately the Iruka-sensei at the desk disappeared to be replaced by the mischievous Kakashi-sensei.

Asuma and Genma were totally lost by this point, _totally._

"What?" said Kakashi innocently (Yeah right!) as he looked at Iruka-sensei "I just wanted to see what you looked like this way!"

Iruka-sensei audibly growled.

"Is it wrong for me to want to see my boyfriend dressed this way?"

"Die!" bellowed Iruka-sensei before he nearly literally flew at Kakashi.

Kakashi leapt deftly out of the window, still smiling, and Iruka-sensei followed.

"Boyfriend?" says Genma, his senbon clattered to the ground, he didn't seem to notice.

"Iruka and…Kakashi?" put in Asuma

"_Huh_?"

**X-_X-_X**

_**I do so love throwing in a little crack every now and then. It's what happens when you think of fanfiction before sleeping. Thanks for reading!**_


	5. Chapter 5

Tsunade certainly didn't expect Naruto to come into her office that night. A cool night, which made no difference to a ninja, it was also a silent night, which did make all the difference to a ninja. Tsunade expected it to be Shizune's shadow lit face that appeared in her office, definitely not Naruto.

"Naruto," Tsunade began, sighing. She wasn't in readiness for the headache that talking to the boy would surely bring. "What-?"

He cut her off. "Kyuubi wants to thank you, granny," he said, uncharacteristically staying at a distance. "And I do too."

"For what?" Tsunade asked taken aback, this was too much unlike Naruto, too somber for Naruto. She also hadn't been too enthused when she had learned that Naruto and the Kyuubi conversed.

"The day you saved our life with your tears," Naruto spoke, uncharacteristically husky. Tsunade caught a swirl of chakra the next moment, dancing out of her reach, and realized something.

Kyuubi was talking _with_ Naruto. Naruto certainly hadn't been kidding when he'd said that Kyuubi had wanted to thank her, Tsunade certainly didn't think he'd do it _personally_.

"What day?" Tsunade asked, her shock blending with her voice it faded with the silent night air.

"During the battle of the sannin," the shadows in the room seemed to lengthen. "When you and pervy-sage fought the snake bastard."

The memories were hardly forgotten but when they came to the forefront of her mind, bringing all their pain with them, they came in mountain thrashing waves. Especially the one of Naruto covered in blood lying dormant on the earth. Tsunade would never be able to forget that image.

"…That time I won your necklace."

Naruto left that instant, through her door and out of the building in a breath. Tsunade could do nothing but sit and think about all the nights she had stared at blood, too many nights for just one lifetime.

**X-_X-_X**

_**Tsunade and Naruto have the promise for great levels of interaction between the two of them. Thanks for writing.**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Another Kakashi and Iruka drabble; I hope you guys enjoy it!**_

**X-_X-_X**

There's one thing that Iruka does ritually that Kakashi thinks is adorable.

It's one of the reasons he loves 'mornings after'.

Iruka always thinks he's the first one to wake up, he'll look up at the ceiling a few minutes, remembering where he is. Then he looks over at Kakashi with a deliriously happy smile.

What he does next is what Kakashi loves the most.

He'll lean over and softly put on of his feathery soft kisses, that Kakashi loves so much, right on his chest.

Though Iruka doesn't realize that Kakashi is awake, it makes it all the more sweet to Kakashi.

Those morning kisses are what keep him going throughout the day, keep him going so he can return to a loving home at night.

He loves those kisses.

He loves Iruka.

**X-_X-_X**

_**Fluff's not my usual thing but it's fun to roll with on occasion. Thanks for reading!**_


	7. Chapter 7

**X-_X-_X**

Neji had always heard Hinata referred to as a flower. The quiet, demure heiress just fit the bill. All who met her could compare her to a variety of flora, ones that fit all of her apparent qualities.

Some compared her to a carnation.

Some compared her to a rose.

Other to tulips, and yet some to daisies.

But Neji never believed it, he couldn't see her as any of those, he saw her as a weed.

A plain plant that ran its roots through all those around it.

And it was true.

Hinata had always been able to weed her way through all those around her, her smiles, her nice demeanor.

She had even ensnared Neji.

There is a reason Neji never called Hinata a flower, why he always calls her a weed.

It's because she made even he, who has locked his heart away forever, fall in love with her.

He knew it.

She knew it.

He was head over heels.

**X-_X-_X**

_**I am a Hyuugacest fan, lol. Thanks for reading!**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**This takes place when Naruto returns to the village after his three year absence. It is obviously not cannon, but it's meant to portray a certain theme and emotion.**_

_**Please, enjoy.**_

**X-_X-_X**

Shikamaru watched Naruto's face fall for a moment, the news that he was the only one of the original rookie nine, along with Gai's team, to still be a genin had very obviously made his disappointed in himself.

"Don't worry about it Naruto, you'll be moving up soon," Shikamaru said, he shifted his foot in the dirt, sending up a small plume of dust. He eyed Naruto "The Chunin exams are about to happen."

The news did seem to brighten Naruto, and the grin that he stared back at Shikamaru with was certainly an indication of troublesome things to come, at least for Shikamary.

"Shikamaru, why aren't you a Jonin yet, ne? You were the first to become a Chunin, still being a lazy ass?" Naruto grinned mischievously at Shikamaru and Shikamaru just sighed. It was good to have Naruto back again, and it was also a drag. Either way, the pros weighed out the cons.

"Baka, I took the Chunin exam with you and I'll take the Jonin exam with you," Shikamaru slouched and rolled his eyes. It was mostly for show though, Naruto's energy towards goals was nearly infectious.

"What's that?" Naruto said looking mildly shocked. "You're waiting for me to become a Chunin so that we can both take the Jonin test together?"

"That'd be it," Shikamaru was slightly regretting saying that to Naruto. It would have been far less troublesome to just lie and say he failed or something. It would have left a lot less questions.

"You're the BEST Shikamaru!" shouted Naruto, who launched himself at Shikamaru a moment later. He nearly launched the shadow nin off balance, despite Shikamaru's shouted protests.

Shikamaru hurriedly detached himself from Naruto and grumbled a bit before saying louder "It is the duty of a village's ninja to follow their Hokage."

Shikamaru could really never understand how that sentence had affected Naruto so much. But it affected Naruto in such a good way; it gave him confidence, motivation and above all the warm sense of camaraderie.

Naruto took the Chunin exam, and he passed it and then Naruto and Shikamaru took the Jonin exam.

They passed it.

The history of ninja, or comrades, is just that: history. What happened after they passed, who became Hokage, who became a head advisor, it's all a tale of the future.

They were friends, they were comrades.

Above all, they were ninja.

**X-_X-_X**

_**I really enjoy interactions concerning Shikamaru, he's one of my favorite characters. I hope you enjoyed. I wanted to show a quick glimpse of something that could make a great future. Thanks to all that read!**_

_**-AnimeSiren Out!**_


	9. Chapter 9

There was a time in my life when I was dead. My heart was shut, my subconscious a poison, and extinguishing life and ushering death was all that passed through my mind. It was my philosophy, my law, and my nindo.

I thought of blood raining down in sweet showers…those showers still cross my mind, but no longer is it the pull of unnecessary killing. Instead my mind finds ways to present the bloody showers of others, to stop the rain and part the clouds.

I used to be naught but a vessel, an Angel of Death, if you will. A vessel is a weapon, a weapon in a tool, a tool is meant to me used.

But then he came, and fire flared about him displaying his power. He was the essence of what his chakra demonstrated, he was a beacon, a dedication to morale, and he shined like a savior.

His face was free of the boyish grin that usually adorned it; instead when he came he looked full of determination.

He was a lightening bolt through my subconscious, the way he fought, the way he lived. He told me inspirational thoughts, seemed to have faith in my progression towards a better goal.

He did everything with pride and love, he battled with a perseverance I had rarely seen before, and rarely enjoyed.

It was he that released me, and tamed the demon inside me with his own.

The energy he emits is legendary, the number one hyperactive knucklehead Hokage.

In retrospect I think that we are an excellent pairing, Hokage and Kazekage.

Blood and Sun.

_**X-_X-_X**_

_**I do really love Naruto and Gaara, I think they have a lot to offer the future. Thanks to any that read!**_


	10. Chapter 10

Most people would assume that Sasuke would take a walk in the nighttime to relax.

And they would continue to assume that his relaxation would occur on a cloudy night (Indeed the Sasuke-kun fan club boys and girls had a whole manuscript dedicated to the subject, complete with a full description on how the slight wind would just tussle his locks.)

However they would be devastated to learn that it is just the opposite of their angsty hero weather that he prefers

For Uchiha Sasuke enjoys nothing more than a midday stroll beneath a cloudless sun filled sky.

And the Sasuke-kun fan girls and boys would be further devastated to learn that he enjoys the bright sun of midday due to the fact that he can compare every bit of that sun filled day to the one he loves.

He can compare the bright rays of the sun to unruly locks.

He can compare the cloudless cerulean skied to joyous orbs.

Indeed he did enjoy the warm sunny days instead of the lonely cloudy nights.

**X-_X-_X**

_**Short, not serious toned, and hopefully enjoyable. Thanks for reading.**_


	11. Chapter 11

Most ninja you meet will never own up to having a particular fear or hate. However if you happen to meet a drunken Chunin or a suicidal Jonin you just might learn something.

And that something might just particularly be one of the following two frequent answers. The first being that they haven't had sex in the long six weeks that they've been out on an undercover mission, the second (seemingly more believable) is that they have a severe fear of the Konoha ninja hospital.

This is quite understandable however as when a ninja is in a hospital there are only ever a few explanations as to why one is there. They are either there due to the failure of a mission and more than likely under the knowledge that they will never be able to take a decent mission again.

Though of course there is the other option that they are visiting the morgue: one-way ticket style.

So ninja have an understandable phobia of the hospital and its inner workings.

Well except one.

Hyuuga Neji loved visiting the hospital.

Indeed he made it a point to go out of his way to attend the Assistant Surgical Master Hyuuga Hinata's lunch break.

But hell he was a Hyuuga, he's just weird.

**X-_X-_X**

_**I like a NejixHinata drabble, but I think this can be read without romance as well. Thanks for reading!**_


	12. Chapter 12

In a way it was almost made Iruka distraught. He hadn't expected the result, or the knowledge that it conveyed. He hadn't expected the shock that traveled his system.

He was required to teach all his students at least the basics of a civilian school syllabus. So on the occasional day he dedicated the entirety of it to the teaching of civilian school, and watched how his little ninja took the information, and knew that at some point in their careers, it would help

So when he walked in rooms full of ten year olds with a civilian pop quiz on science he never expected the reaction he got or the emotions it would make him feel.

"Takashi, what is a tributary?" Iruka had asked glancing around the class. Most of the students looked bored, and he had to admit that civilian studies hadn't been riveting when he was an Academy student either.

"Um…" the boy took a minute and Iruka nearly sighed. He wished the students could at least take the material seriously.

Then the boy brightened.

"It's one of those grown up people who visit the tribute stone," the boy exclaimed, seemingly quite proud of himself. He smiled. "Ne, Iruka-sensei tribute stone, tributaries, _see_?"

Iruka's heart skipped a beat, the air took a stilted pause out of his lungs, and Iruka had to try hard to think for a moment.

He never expected an answer such as that would make him feel the emptiness he felt. His students didn't need to contemplate what they were forced to at their age.

For his innocent children to have seen that connection _first_? It indicated something about the ninja life.

He wasn't able to finish the class.

**X-_X-_X**

_**Some sort of scene like this is something that I can truly imagine happening in a ninja village. Thanks for reading!**_


	13. Chapter 13

Holding Hands 

Holding hands is the promise that sprouted between the avenger and the cherry blossom as they walked the beaten path into the village. They knew they could learn to love each other, and it was even possible that they wouldn't have to learn much more before they would.

Slap on the butt 

The saucy action was the way that Naruto was able to express to the rest of the market square that by the kages they all, especially the fish sales girl, better understand that Sasuke was _his_.

Playing with the Ear 

Gently massaging Hinata's neck and head after she'd had a long day of arguing with the conservative elders of the clan was the only way Neji could tell her. Playing teasingly with her ear lobes was the only way he could say it. I can't live without you.

Holding on tight 

This motion is the only motion available to Iruka. He realizes this as he watches Kakashi don once again the mask of the ANBU. War with Sound was robbing more time and energies. Iruka knew that the moment he let go of Kakashi's waist he was never going to see him again.

Laughing while kissing 

The simple flirty gesture shows her complete comfort with him. The way her head is thrust back and the way his arms dance around her waist as their laughter echoes across the ravine. This is what a ninja can earn; this is what a ninja learns.

Arms around the waist 

They are strong arms that wrap around the Rokudaime's waist. And they are raccoon eyes that peer into his, that beg him. Sand can't officially go to war with Sound, but Konoha can. The arms hold nothing but air the next second.

I love you too much to let you go.

I love you too much.


	14. Chapter 14

For a ninja, especially a ninja of Konoha, insanity is not always thought of as the same thing. Nor is it often correlated in everyday life. For a ninja insanity is an 'in the closet' deal, something they are forced to face only after they have devoted everything else to their duty as ninja, to their village.

Some ninja even _use_ their insanity as part devotion of their village, specifically Konoha ninja.

A Hokage for instance, knows that in their reign as head of Konoha they will have to constantly deal with the mentalities that their position offers up. They will have to deal with how their ability to think clearly, their ability to shove aside their inner insanity, will effect how they properly lead their army of elite.

They also have to deal in accordance with the insanity of their troops.

Of course they will have to deal with their troop's insanity before their own. In all fairness if the insanity of the Hokage has survived thus long than it can certainly hold out for a time longer.

The Hokage's responsibilities are for the Genin whose pressures lend them to the ranks of Chunin, and to the Chunin who's loss of innocence subjects them to the ranks of Jonin. The Hokage's responsibilities also extend to the Jonin and ANBU whose biggest test is to either conquer their personal insanity, or let their demons loose on their souls.

When a ninja's insanity is pressed there are only three options for a ninja. They either fumble the mission, they loose their selves and stand in the way of a kunai of disappointment, they let their teammates down, and overall end up being a name on a stone with a story that is never told.

The other option is that their insanity warps them, it wraps them in clouds of doubt and misinterpretation and ultimately leads them to a decision had they conquered their insanity would have never crossed their minds.

A good leader's troops will be prepared to do what they must for their village and leader, but even for ninja's there is only so far a mortal mind can go.

The second leads to betrayal.

The third option is the option that survives all the doubt and death, it's the one that most often leads to retirement, and quiet maelstroms spiraling down into pits of equally quiet insanity and self-destruction. It's the option that survives the Jonin and the ANBU and it's the option that affects the most.

The strain mixed with the sacrifice is something that ultimately sets the bar. Ninja rules: Never show emotion, and a ninja never lives over the age of thirty.

Rules are meant to be broken, but are their individuals who can?

Ninja who can become human?

**X-_X-_X**

_**So my friends my poll showed seventy five percent of all of you wanted me to update my drabbles.**_

_**Here you are.**_


	15. Chapter 15

"Gen-kun," hissed Raidou. "Get a grip!"

Genma sent back a piteous look; he was hiding in the shadowy side of the large Hokage tower window, and seemed to be shivering mildly. Raidou however was avidly at his guard post behind the Hokage.

"What's that?" growled the Hokage from where she had been slumped tiredly over her desk.

Raidou jumped slightly and straightened immediately "How may I assist you Hokage-sama?"

Tsunade snorted and turned her chair around. "What are you two back here whispering like academy girls about?"

Raidou chuckled nervously and attempted to wave it off, Genma's eye twitched.

"It's nothing Hokage-same," assured Raidou.

Tsunade looked over at Genma.

"What's got you wetting like one of Kakashi's puppies-?" She stopped suddenly. Genma had involuntarily twitched at the mention of the elite Jonin's name.

"Oh ho!" Tsunade exclaimed positively gleeful. (This was so much better than paperwork.) "What did you do to our favorite copy-nin brat?"

"Nothing," muttered Genma, glancing at Raidou.

"Lose a bet to him?"

"No."

"Steal his porn?"

"No."

"Glimpse his face?"

"No."

"Hmm," she put a hand to her chin. Then she looked over at Raidou. "What's got him so twitchy?"

"I don't know if it'd be my place to say, Tsunade-sama," Raidou replied, cringing in preparation for the voluptuous women's wrath at his incorporation.

"He's evil!" cried Genma suddenly.

The Hokage swiveled her head back towards him and eyes him speculatively. He was going to absolute pieces, his senbon swinging unsteadily.

"He's done the worse thing _imaginable_!" Genma continued.

The Hokage and Raidou both raised a brow at this, the Hokage in surprise, Raidou in disbelief.

"What's the brat done?" the Hokage barked. She pointed a finely painted nail at him "Tell me."

"He-he," Genma put his face in his hands, nearly stabbing himself with his senbon. Raidou rolled his eyes.

Tsunade leaned forward, _extremely_ interested.

"I caught him molesting Iruka-sensei!" Genma screeched. The final admittance seemed to have absolutely drained the shinobi, who slumped against the wall the next moment.

There was a very noticeable pause in thought in the room as the other two occupants were stupefied.

Tsunade's jaw dropped.

"Iruka-sensei's so nice and kind and responsible," Genma gave a melodramatic shiver. "And oh so pert!"

Raidou's eye twitched.

"And all Kakashi's going to do is corrupt him with all his pervy ways!" Genma waved his arms dramatically a couple of times before stopping. "What? Why aren't you all taking me seriously!"

Genma looked betrayed as he took in the Hokage's seizing form; she was in near hysterics, her laughter echoing off the walls.

Raidou reached over and cuffed Genma upside the head. "Just drop it."

Genma face sank into a very liberal expression of a highly depressed fish, and he relented to simply muttering to himself, ignoring his partner and his Hokage.

X-_X-_X

The silver haired Jonin detached himself from the roof where he had been crouched, and leapt gracefully to an adjacent roof top.

The wind rustled his gravity defying hair a moment before, quite suddenly; he took off across the rooftops. His assurance of Genma's now scared mentality a success.

One could almost make out a satisfied leer through the mask.

X-_X-_X

_**Here's another drabble for all you very kind reviewers!**_


	16. Chapter 16

**X-_X-_X**

It was another typical night in Konohagakure, tired genin were returning home, tired guards were switching shifts, and certain tired Chuunin sensei was heading to Ichiraku Ramen stand for a very late dinner.

Now the very tired Chuunin Sensei that I am talking about is none other than the very much celebrated and loved Iruka-sensei. He simply wanted to have a quiet bowl of ramen and try not to think about the fact that he had to return to snot-nosed-wanna-be ninja's the next day.

However we all know that that plan was doomed from the start. It's Konohagakure. Nothing goes as planned

Because…and we know this will be a momentous because, because in logic _nothing_ was going to stop Iruka-sensei from getting the quiet night he wanted.

Nothing except one Hatake Kakashi.

"Good evening Kakashi-sensei," said Iruka-sensei pleasantly as he sat down next to Kakashi, smiling genially.

"Oh?" Kakashi looked up, slightly startled (which seemed odd as this was the famous, calm Jonin sensei.) "Good evening, Iruka-sensei how was your day at the academy?"

"Pleasant enough," lied Iruka-sensei, in reality his day had been _hell_ "And your day Kakashi-sensei?"

Kakashi was saved for responding for a moment as the Old Ramen Man had come over to take Iruka's order. However when the ramen man walked away, he was forced to answer out of politeness.

"It was pleasant as well," he responded. His eye gave an involuntary twitch.

My, my the lies were racking up weren't they?

However Iruka-sensei wasn't a teacher of miniature ninjas for nothing, he noticed the signs. Kakashi-sensei was acting somewhat drifty, and his raman appeared as if it had been sitting awhile.

"Pardon me Kakashi-sensei, but if you don't mind me asking?" Iruka said questioningly, leaning towards Kakashi comfortingly.

"Yes?"

"Is something wrong?" Iruka watched Kakashi closely to make sure that he hadn't over stepped his bounds by asking that.

"Of course not Iruka-sensei! It's just…" he trailed off slightly rubbing the back of his head nervously. This was definitely not like the elite jonin, the calm, collected legend.

"Yes?" prompted Iruka-sensei

"You haven't, that is to say-you never had to-to worry about…you never had to worry about your students having sex, have you?" Kakashi asked, fumbling over his words.

Now this was definitely the one thing that Iruka-sensei had never expected.

"Well no I haven't my students are a little young for that….I hope," replied Iruka-sensei smiling graciously at Kakashi.

Kakashi visible relaxed at seeing that Iruka-sensei wasn't going to freak out on him.

"Wait! Oh, Kami-sama! You don't mean Sasuke and Sakura do you?" Iruka asked, he seemed to have caught on to the fact of _who _were Kakashi's students.

"No," Kakashi grinned wryly.

"Sasuke and Naruto."

**X-_X-_X**

_**This has always been one of my personal favorites, thanks for reading!**_


	17. Chapter 17

"Hey, hey!" Genma cheered, accidentally sloshing the alcohol he was attempting to pour. "This is a great place to drink."

He raised a glass and several other equally elite hands reached their glasses up to toast with him. Genma sat back and surveyed those around him, all of them sitting on the scattered desks.

He and Raidou had chosen desks where they could easily be higher than the rest; after all they were the lords that brought the booze. They were trying to snuggle in their drunken stupor and observing Kakashi who was enabling Kotetsu and Izumo in a drinking game.

Genma sighed this was definitely the life.

"Wonder why Anko didn't show up?" asked Raidou, all too cheery.

"Probably terrorizing the innocents," muttered Genma, downing another drink.

"What innocents?" snorted Kakashi from further down, having heard their exchange.

Genma nodded and grinned in agreement.

The Academy really was a great place to binge drink. It was the last place anybody would believe jonin's would retreat to in order to waste their sanity away, and it allotted a certain amount of privacy.

Ninja reflexes are curious things though. Even when drunk a ninja's extra sensitive senses of survival can kick in. It's saved more than one life over the years.

So when the creak of a door cut through the air of jubilation every ninja in the room went stiff.

They had been infiltrated.

It wasn't even until after they had all turned to look at who was in the doorway that they broke out in a sweat, they were ninja after all. They understood the concept of impending doom.

There in the Academy doorway stood a very, very shocked Iruka-sensei.

Genma, Raidou, and Kakashi all felt an overwhelming sense of fear settle near their stomachs. Kotetsu and Izumo's sweat glands began to work in double time.

"What," began the sensei in a murderously quiet tone "Do you think you're doing?"

No one dared respond, until quite suddenly…Genma farted.

Kakashi fell off his desk, Kotetsu and Izumo almost followed, laughing hilariously at their fellow drunkard.

Iruka looked repulsed.

"Well," Genma said picking up a sake bottle and looking quite pleased with himself, he had managed to divert a rather large amount of sensei version wrath after all. "I'm out," he jutsued away.

Raidou stood and bowed very somberly to Iruka-sensei. "I'm sorry sensei, it won't happen again."

Iruka lifted a finger, intent to scold the drunken Jonin, but was stopped from doing so as Raidou promptly half collapsed on him/half hugged him.

"To think," He said wobbly "I have to go home with him."

Iruka looked helplessly over Raidou's shoulder at Kakashi (Who had just managed to stand) helplessly. He didn't seem like he was gong to do anything, however.

"Well," Raidou said, repeating Genma's actions "See you tomorrow!"

Iruka steadied himself as Raidou jutsued away, the weight lifting off him. "You think they'd be too drunk," he muttered.

"Our queue," Kakashi said, waving jovially at the overly flustered Academy sensei. He grabbed Kotetsu and Izumo by the scruffs of their neck and disappeared, presumably, out the window, the sake bottles disappearing with him.

Iruka lowered the finger he had raised and deflated. Turning, disbelief the emotion on his face, he walked brusquely out of the Academy, forgetting all about his lesson plans.

He was going to finish the night out on his own in his apartment, with his own sake and he was going to try to forget why that he was a ninja and why he currently hated all ninja everywhere.

Especially Jonin.

**X-_X-_X**

_**I think is probably the closest to crack-fic like I will ever come. Thanks to any that read!**_


	18. Chapter 18

"Hey," Iruka leaned across the table towards Genma, his tone introspective. "What's your favorite thing about Raidou-kun?"

Genma blinked and looked at Iruka "Why do you want to know?"

The Chunin leaned back into the booth next to Kakashi "Just wondering."

Genma didn't trust the too innocent look Iruka had on his face one bit. He had the feeling this was going to come back and haunt him, probably in the form of blackmail.

"Well," Genma tapped his chin once for effect. "I guess I like it when he's whiney."

Kakashi stared at him.

"What?" said Genma defensively "Raidou's hot when he's whiney."

"Genmaaaa!" accosted Raidou, setting the drinks on the table as the other shinobi turned around. "What are you talking about?"

"See?" Genma said turning back to his tablemates. "Hot!"

**X-_X-_X**

_**After all, Genma and Raidou have simply **_**got**_** to have some ridiculous quirks to their relationship.**_


	19. Chapter 19

_**To answer a few questions from when I originally posted this, Iruka-sensei is not physically in this, nor is he the victim.**_

**X-_X-_X**

Hatake Kakashi was not an average ninja, he was not even an above average ninja, and he wasn't even an excelled ninja.

He was one of the only elite ninja, he was one of the strongest, one of the most deadly, one of the most cunning, one of the bravest, one of the ninja of Konoha.

He was called the copy-cat ninja, hailed in his own country and hunted in all others. He had mastered his Sharingan, the same sharingan that his long dead Uchiha friend had bequeathed him.

He was also a jonin instructor.

He had three students he was supposed to lead in life; he was supposed to teach them all his knowledge in an attempt to try to make sure they wouldn't be slaughtered on their first high ranked mission.

He had failed with his first, his small prodigy. One of the people he held a tie with, through their sharingan they had a connection, but that connection proved false the day that that small prodigy had bequeathed himself to the dark arts of ninjutsu, the connection failed the day he had to help his other two students destroy that prodigy.

His second he might as well have never trained. Did she truly understand anything he had tried to teach? She excelled as a medic-nin now, however she could only understand what was presented to her, what was proved through evidence, and she had not the mind of a ninja, not a true ninja.

His third he might have actually succeeded at. He was bright and lately clever, yet he had finally been able to understand ninja life. When he killed his best friend, when he joined ANBU, and when he accepted an apprenticeship for Hokage. He understood all that Kakashi had tried to bring forward and he would understand the message that Kakashi was about to send.

He would understand that Kakashi had to do this.

Kakashi stood before the dratted stone, the stone that held his friends names, the tribute stone that he would not be allowed to be put on.

After all he wouldn't be dying in glorious battle, oh no, that discretion had never been allotted to him.

Most ninja die before their thirty, even good ninja die before their thirty, excellent ninja even die before their thirty.

Hatake Kakashi was thirty-two that day, and he was living, in its simplest terms.

Did he regret what he was about to do?

No.

Did he truly know why he was doing it?

No.

Did he want to do it?

Desperately.

So on that day, September 15, he stood stall over the tribute stone, in full ninja regalia, with the simplest ninja tool in his hand: a Kunai.

And as he jerked it into his body, pretending that it was an enemy ninja's weapon, he told himself that he had lied.

He did regret one thing.

"Goodbye my Iruka-sensei."

**X-_X-_X**

_**I realize that some people might get bored with the repetitive slash-hinting drabbles, but as the author I suppose it's my prerogative. Thanks for reading!**_


	20. Chapter 20

"Kakashi!" Iruka half growled half said. "We can't do this here!"

"Relax," said Kakashi, in between kisses he continued. "You're so tense sensei, class is over for the day."

Iruka's next words never quite made it through the guttural moan that was provoked from his lips. The teasing lips that danced across his throat were all to blame.

Kakashi grinned. "We haven't ever been caught so far."

"Not for lack of trying on your part," panted Iruka in response.

Kakashi was directly across from the firm hands holding Iruka to the side of his desk. Evening light was the only cover for the windows that lined the room.

"We live in a ninja village," Kakashi assured him. It was terribly belied by the removal of vests. "We'll hear anyone before they find us."

"We live in a village of perverts, one of them being you might I add," Iruka shot back. He contradicted himself as well by attempting to get his hands on every part of Kakashi possible. "They'll see us before we hear them!"

Kakashi grunted a half hearted, fully perverted response.

The next moments (While Iruka was running a 'I'm not a bad teacher because I'm allowing this,' mantra through his head.) Kakashi froze in the midst of removing Iruka's headband.

"Uh oh," he muttered.

Iruka looked up at him furiously.

Furiously.

"No!" he said, he buried his head in Kakashi's shoulder as he attempted to hide his identity from whoever was behind the now opening door.

"Ah!" a gurgling noise came from the now still form of Ebisu in the doorway.

"I am so sorry for interrupting you and your lady friend, Kakashi-sensei!" he waved his hands frantically, blood dripping from his nose. "I was looking for Konohamaru-san."

Kakashi didn't bother turning to look at Ebisu; he just allowed a murderous amount of his chakra to fill the room. Iruka began to sweat.

Ebisu gargled a few more times before running from the room. The door slam echoed had faded before anyone moved.

"Oh Kami-sama," Kakashi lay back on a desk of his own, expelling frustrated air from his mouth.

Kakashi was grinning.

"What?" demanded Iruka. "Do you find this funny?"

"You do look feminine with your hair down," Kakashi cocked an eyebrow as well.

"You _and _Ebisu are perverts," Iruka said. "I _do not_ look feminine and we're never doing this here again! Got it, Kakashi?"

"Whatever you say."

**X-_X-_X**

_**Lol this does make me grin!**_


	21. Chapter 21

"Someone should poke them," said the surprisingly sober Anko.

"Wazzat?" mumbled Raidou, who was valiantly gripping onto the swaying Genma's shoulder in a fruitless attempt to steady himself.

"The last time I poked the GREAT COPY NINJA!" Genma broke off, and then finished lamely. "Well, it was bad."

"You guys suck!" said Anko, playing with a kunai.

Out of all the noisy ninja in the bar they were the only three witnessing the spectacle before them. Which was ironic considering it was out and the open with not a privacy filter in sight.

"Come on!" whined Anko childishly. "I wanna' know if this is old or new!"

"Oh it's new," said Raidou gravely, eyeing a platter of drinks passing them.

"How do you know?" retorted Genma, effectively moving Raidou away from the vision of increasingly more alcoholic beverages.

"He," Raidou pointed unsteadily to the brunette "Told me."

"No shit?" said Genma, looking back at the shinobi against the wall. He seemed shocked.

"This should have already been through the grapevine," grumbled Anko.

"Oh well," Genma closed his eyes momentarily. "I think it is time Raidou and I went home so I can properly take advantage of him."

Anko didn't even spare them a glance.

She was still a whole thirty seconds after they staggered away, and out into the Konoha air. But really thirty seconds was all she could stand before she could stand no more.

"Hey Kakashi! Iruka-sensei!" she shouted louder than was necessary. "Can you all get a room so I can spy on something even hotter?"

**X-_X-_X**

_**I have a secret love for Anko, before the news that Kushina was Naruto's mother I totally could picture her being the genetic donor in that case.**_


	22. Chapter 22

"Hmm," Iruka sighed contentedly, looking up at his silver haired lover.

"Hmm," his lover agreed, his uncovered lips curled in a smug grin.

Iruka nuzzled into the alabaster Jonin next to him, the warm body that he could feel even through a sheet. He began drawing on the taunt alabaster skin.

"Ruka-koi," murmured Kakashi, not losing his grin. "Why is it that you always enjoy tracing circles on me, why not a heart?"

Iruka smiled at Kakashi's teasing.

I like circles," he replied, his hand began tracing circles lower…and lower.

"Oh," said Kakashi blinking wider-awake. "Oh! I think I like circles too."

Then Iruka smirked. Smugly.


	23. Chapter 23

"Hey Kakashi-sensei?" asked Naruto as he and Sakura collapsed, exhausted, on the ground.

It had only been a few months since he, Naruto, had returned and in those few months he and Sakura had trained vigorously with Kakashi, hoping to catch on with the rare moments of nostalgia.

"Yeah, Naruto?" responded Kakashi, without even lowering his still somewhat new Make-Out Tactics novel.

"We need to get another picture," Naruto replied leaning up against the base of the nearest tree.

"A picture of what?" asked Kakashi, lazily flipping a page. He was in a _particularly_ delicious paragraph.

The day was winding to a close and the floating mosquitoes were being attracted towards the smell of sweat. Naruto swatted a one "The three of us."

Kakashi paused. "Why the sudden interest in a photo, ne? The last one I had to wrestle you into."

Naruto glared up at Kakashi as he watched him lower his book. He looked back down at his hands. "We need to get another picture before another one of us is unable to ever be in one," he responded softly.

"Naruto," said Sakura, voice strained. She pulled a kunai out of the ground next to her and sat up from the cool ground. "Don't say those types of things; you don't know that will happen."

"Face it Sakura," Naruto said, he looked a little embarrassed now that he'd sat up. "We'll going to be whittled down, one by one, until we've done the ultimate duty to our nation."

Kakashi leaned forward; he was now tangibly interested and worried in the recent turn off events.

"It's the way of the ninja," Kakashi heard Naruto whisper dejectedly.

"What's wrong with you Naruto," Sakura stood. "We'll take another picture of all of us when we finally get Sasuke back."

"Sakura," Naruto let out a hollow chuckle. "Are we going to get Sasuke back, are we?"

Kakashi could only look at his students in mild shock. What had happened to Naruto steadfast belief in the nearly three years he'd been away? Did he really change that much?

"Of course we'll get Sasuke back!" yelled Sakura to Naruto. "Even if you don't help me I'll bring Sasuke-kun back myself."

Naruto sighed and hung his head. "Of course I'll help you Sakura, I never said I wouldn't."

Sakura looked away from Naruto; she had tears in her eyes.

"We will take a picture," said Kakashi, straightening and putting his book back into his weapons pouch. "But take it for when Sasuke gets back so that he'll be extraordinarily jealous he missed it."

This was a lie, and Kakashi knew he had just lied to his students. However the lecture that his conscience was giving him was falling on deaf ears.

Naruto looked at him and grinned. "Believe it!" Even if Naruto himself did not believe it, he had something that he realized he could still hope for. Sakura smiled softly over to him.

"Thanks Kakashi-sensei!"

Kakashi simply smiled. There was a slim chance that they'd all live to old age. He prepared himself when he had taken on the team to watch them die.

He was prepared to die himself.

He knew he'd see it again; he'd see the terrible destruction of his team once more. The only difference is this time he hoped he wasn't the one that survived it all.

He saw the past repeating itself everyday. He feared that Naruto was going to eventually become just like him and that Sakura would become a sacrifice just like Rin.

He didn't want to survive it all happening again.

And as his team got ready to leave he made sure to say "We're taking the photo tomorrow; make sure to actually look good!"

He made sure that he also said it with his usual fake smile.

He was glad they were taking the picture though, it meant he'd have another picture to struggle awake to after a nightmare.

The sooner they took the picture the better.

**X-_X-_X**

_**I hope you enjoyed this.**_


	24. Chapter 24

**TEN REASONS WHY KAKASHI AND IRUKA ARE TOGETHER**

10. Iruka is uncontainably adorable when he blushes, especially when the great copy-nin Hatake Kakashi steals his bath towel.

9. Kakashi particularly enjoys the way that Iruka pranks Genma and Raidou when they need it, it's profitable to enjoy the devilish side of Iruka.

8. Iruka adores receiving little compassionate gifts that Kakashi leaves him in the mission room; the only mishap was when he received a dog collar: the innuendos had to be dealt with.

7. One training that Kakashi loves to bestow upon Iruka: Courtesan training.

6. Kakashi is always willing to sit and listen to Iruka on his bad days even when he's ranting, and ranting, and ranting…and ranting.

5. Naruto is treated accordingly. Where Iruka gives all the tenderness and compassion that a mother could give, Kakashi continuously gives the support of a father, even when shuriken are flying.

4. It's never cold in the winter when you live with Hatake Kakashi, his summons can be considered space heater. Except for chibi…chibi gets in the way of certain activities.

3. Kakashi can be a Mr. Mom when he gets the fancy, dressed up in an apron even. Of course when he is he's generally _only_ dressed in an apron.

2. Kakashi's a dirty pervert, period. However on long days that have been filled with snot nosed sniveling is good to just get down and dirty.

1. The reason that Iruka and Kakashi are together is because Kakashi is annoying, late, and never remembers anything Iruka tells him to do.

However when he's late because he's walking Iruka to work, when he's annoying so he can get Iruka home quicker, and when he doesn't listen because he's memorizing every line of Iruka's face…

It's worth it.

_**X-_X-_X**_

_**It's nerdy that my own drabble makes me giggle some. Thanks for reading!**_


	25. Chapter 25

"Iruka," said a silver haired man sing-songily. Said silver haired ninja was the only one awake in the bedroom that night. Nighttime was when cunningly daring plans were hatched.

Hatake Kakashi had just such a cunningly daring plan.

His plan revolved around certain facts. One fact was that his apartment was easily able to accommodate two grown men comfortably. Another fact was that his apartment was mere moments from the center of Konoha where, coincidentally, the shinobi academy was located.

There was however one monumentally important fact that Hatake Kakashi relied on: Umino Iruka agreed to everything in his sleep, with very little prompting ever necessary.

"Iruka-koi," Kakashi prompted once more, again in his sing-song voice.

The man beside him stirred this time, and swatted an arm into the air, disgruntled. An unintelligible grumble followed.

"Koishi," Kakashi said softly, and in the sickliest sweet manner he could muster. "How would you like to move in with me?"

Iruka's eyes didn't open, however Hatake Kakashi, feared and revered ninja, was not deterred. He leaned closer to Iruka's ear.

"It'd be closer to the academy, Iruka," Kakashi taunted into his ear. "And Iruka my apartment is a lot roomier…Iruka that means a larger kitchen to cook in…"

Iruka snuggled closer to him and Kakashi grinned. He was a ninja, he was not afraid to use underhand means such as these. He was near triumph.

"Iruka, move in with me," pleaded Kakashi right into the tanned man's ear.

It took a moment and then—

"Yeargh," came Kakashi's awaited reply.

Hatake Kakashi finally went to sleep with world like accomplishments filling his ego.

He really didn't take into consideration that said ego was probably going to be beaten rather fiercely when his underhanded trickery became known to the man beside him. However the night was rewarding and Iruka _had _said yes, in a way.

**X-_X-_X**

_**Kakashi has to amuse himself some way doesn't he?**_


	26. Chapter 26

**X-_X-_X**

The day was clear and sunny, not a single overcast break in sight. The lack of proper cloud cover didn't irritate Shikamaru Nara as much as it could have. The sky still held an interesting array of thought even without its usual white vestibules of fluff.

His duties had tied him up all week, and the graduation of a new group of genin had only added more frustration to the pile. However with a good excuse given, the day was turning out to be exactly what he wanted. Or at the very least, a break from his workload, and the troubling, generally violent, women that went with it.

"What a drag," Shikamaru grinned to himself, thinking about the expression on his Hokage's face when she realized that he wasn't sitting in a poorly lit room, compiling the data she had requested.

"Do you actually intent to train," a cocky voice spoke out twenty yards to his right "Or was that an excuse for me to be forced to watch do absolutely nothing, like you are now?"

Shikamaru smirked, closing his eyes and remaining perfectly still, not betraying a single clue that he had even heard the other man speak.

"I believe in this case you would say 'troublesome', Nara."

A shadow fell across Shikamaru's face, but he still didn't open and eye, speaking back in a bored monotone.

"I'm simply making up for your obvious over achievement, Hyuuga."

When silence only greeted him Shikamaru was forced to rethink his closed eye strategy. It was unlikely that he had actually offended the Hyuuga male, after all Neji and he had withstood much rougher banter together.

Shikamaru wearily opened one eye, arching the brow as he did so. Neji was simply standing over him, staring down with his usually unexpressive opulent eyes. Neji caught the movment.

"Finally some sign of life from you, Shikamaru," Neji sneered.

"Idiot."

"If you would actually stand and train as you had declared you were going to," began Neji, ending with a much tone of both teasing and painful promise "I would show you who the idiot is."

Shikamaru didn't even have to think about the hand signs that he quickly flashed. A shadow hand quickly darting out to grab the Hyuuga's ankle, pulling it out from under him, and jerking his towards the ground at Shikamaru's side.

Neji was far too balanced and advanced of a shinobi for the trick to actually have some sort of effect on him, but he did come to a graceful rest at Shikamaru's side just as the other man had intended.

"Just watch the clouds, Neji."

"There are no clouds."

"Who cares?"

**X-_X-_X**

_**I am alive! I have recently forayed back into the Naruto fandom, with the interest of updating "One Summer's Day" and I thought my drabble serious could use some work. I revised most every chapter, and changed things around a little too.**_

_**I recently have become enamored with good Shikamaru and Neji centered stories, I love their pairing. Mostly due to Okami Rayne's "Break to Breath" the fanfiction is nearly transcendent.**_

_**Anyways, thanks to all, old readers and new, hope you enjoyed reading!**_


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